you know you're a momma when...

i like doing this from time to time... so much in our lives has changed since having harper it only makes sense to share!

you know you're a momma when:

- your baby gets bored playing peek-a-boo long before you do.
- when you hold your kitty you start to bounce her.
- or even worse when you are holding a box and realize you are bouncing it...
- you look forward to 10 pm when your little goes down so you can finally have time with your husband.
- some days it just isn't worth it changing out of your clothes that have been spit up on.
- you're still amazed that such a tiny thing can take up so. much. space. in your house
- you reach high new octaves with your voice you never thought existed in trying to make your little one smile.
- your cell phone memory is constantly full from all the picture texts you send to friends and family.
- as much as you love that incredible sweater at forever 21 you know harper needs winter clothes that fit so you wait to see if there is enough money left over for the sweater after shopping for her.
- you wonder how much longer "night night" "eyesies" "twosie" "poo poo" and "toot" will take to become integrated into your normal "grown up" language. 

what a joy it is to be parent!!! i say that with no sarcasm whatsoever.

this little piggy

Harper has discovered her piggies!!!!

and she sure does love them.

any chance she gets, she has them.

what an amazing gift it is to watch them grow, learn, discover and change!

no crib for a bed

here is harper in her big debut as baby jesus! you can see her being held by mary. there were 3 performances and harper did excellent 2 out of the 3. the 2nd one she really let us have it. she was screaming, bright red, sweating and baby tears were flowing. i let her stay with mary for 2 or 3 minutes and then rescued her. mary did an excellent job staying calm and trying to calm her down, harper just wasn't havin' it.

i thought for sure people would have been distracted and irritated for letting a crying baby stay on the stage for so long. but after the show at least 7 people told me how wonderful it was to hear her cry and it added so much to the realness of it.

it was great to hear that it didn't take away from the show and actually added to it! for the other shows while she was so perfect and quiet [and sleeping for one of them] people said they didn't even know she was a real baby!

here is harper with mary. her name is natasha and me and john could both tell she was SO honored and SO excited to get to hold harper. she would come back into the sound booth and talk to her and play with her. harper responded very well to natasha! as tiring and overwhelming as it can be with everyone knowing us and wanting to know harper and hold her, it really is such a blessing to be so loved.

sweet child o' mine

Harper is playing baby Jesus in the Christmas musical at church.  It's pretty cute.

She usually does really well, but during the performance tonight she started to cry while "Mary" was holding her.  At first it was just a little cry, but then it turned into a wail.

Emily was up there with her, yet it took everything in me not to run up on the stage and hold her.  I could tell she was a little scared, and I wanted to save her.

I kept thinking about how God does the same thing with us.  He hears our cries and His heart aches with us.  He wants to scoop us up and hold us in His arms while He tells us everything is okay because he has got us.

But He can't.  Just like I couldn't with Harper.  Not becaus eof the play, but because sometimes she has to cry.  She has to experience pain.  Or else she becomes a rotten, spoiled person.

But it doesn't mean I don't care.

Just because God doesn't swoop in and save us, does not mean He doesn't care.

He is our Father.  He aches with us and for us.

But He can't always save us...

away in a manger

this is harper's nativity scene. a nice woman at our church bought it for her. :) it brought me so much joy to set it up as the nativity scene is my very favorite thing to set up at christmastime.

baby jesus always goes in last. i always say a prayer while putting him in, thanking God for giving us his son to die, so that we may live.

i think i have a different perspective this year on the intensity and sacrifice it took to give his son. his only son.

harper is baby jesus at the christmas musical at our church this year. while at rehearsal the other night, everyone, i mean everyone was oohing and ahhing over her. telling me, [while they are supposed to be singing,] how beautiful she is. their faces were bright and people laughed while watching her. i wonder if it's just a tiny taste of how mary felt when the wise men and shepherds came to jesus.

in luke 2:19 it says "mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart."

i felt so thankful and full of joy while everyone was admiring harper. in a christmas musical. with a fake mary and joseph. and harper is a girl. let alone a normal human being. not the messiah.

i can't imagine how mary felt.

she likes it, she really likes it!

Harper eating her cereal...

At first she didn't know what to think of it...

...but about halfway through she decided she LOVED it!

at one point she had her mouth open waiting for her next bite while banging the tray! we couldn't get it in her mouth quick enough.

now when we put her in her chair she gets really excited and anxiously awaits her food! it's amazing how quickly they learn. i can't believe in 2 months she will already be eating baby food.

oh harper. you grow too fast. but we're so proud of you.