how do you measure a year?

one year ago today, me and johnny.o found out we were gonna have a baby. it was a sunday afternoon and i took a test after john had asked me several times to take one. i did not think i was pregnant and i was irritated to waste the money on a test.

i took it and waited for the minutes to tick by so i could confirm i wasn't pregnant. i picked up the test to toss it in the trash and as i glanced at it thought i saw a positive result. i brought it inches from my eyes and there they were, plain as day, 2 dark pink lines. it was a positive, 100% for sure yes i am pregnant result.

i stared at them for seconds and whispered "holy shit" as my body started shaking. i ran out of the bathroom and into the worship center where john was setting up. he just looked up from his work and smiled one of the biggest smiles i have seen. he came over to me and i said, "i'm pregnant!" and he said," yeah i figured!" we laughed together for long time.

after that moment was over it was so strange cause you just wait. there is nothing else to do unless you are going to start telling people right away. your life is about to make one its biggest changes and you have nothing else to do but wait...

doctor's visits help the waiting, but the due date just seems forever away.

40 and a half weeks later the waiting was over!

you know you're a momma when...

Your freezer is now with filled with teethers and breast milk, overtaking room for frozen pizzas and drumsticks.

 

Your once very cute and perfectly organized living room now is filled with baby toys, jumperoos, diapers and bouncy chairs.

All of your personal space is shared and everywhere you look, you find her things.

You have sunshades in your car windows. [yes, I refused to have "baby on board" anything]

 

Half of your clothes still sit in your closet waiting to be worn again cause they just aren't conducive to breastfeeding. 

 

Lastly, you realize none of it matters to you at all. :)

Baldilocks

Harper is getting some fuzz!!!!
It's very fine and soft. She likes when I rub it. She smiles and moves her head with my hand. It also helps her to fall asleep.

Harper isn't baldilocks anymore!!!

Not a newborn anymore.

Harper girl has officially grown out of her newborn clothes.
I need to get a plastic bin to store them. It especially made me sad when I folded up her noah's ark onesie. It's what she was wearing the first time I told her loved her. I am very sentimental like that.















I also had to put away the outfit she wore coming home from the hospital. That hurt too.

How can I be so proud of my girl for growing, yet so sad at the same time?

I guess that's one of life's ultimate catch 22's.

2,303 Hours in

Being a dad is amazing.

The love, hopes, fears, desires, joy, exhaustion, and wonder are so fun. Every day is something new.

It's astonishing watching Harper.

The way everything is new to her. How quickly she's beginning to learn things. How strong she's becoming. I love it when I get up with her in the morning, and as soon as she sees my face peek over the crib her pacifier falls out of her mouth she smiles so big.

It melts me. Every time.

I can't imagine what it will be like when she's calls out to me. Or says she loves me. Or runs into my arms after I get home from work.

What a precious gift.

rubber duckie you're the one, you make bathtime so much fun

She doesn't know what to think of her new friend...


She decides to let her duck sit on her chest while she checks it out...


And finally, the obvious display of acceptance.


Harper + Yellow Duck = besties???

I guess the end of this story has yet to be written.

Roll Over Beethoven

Harper rolled over yesterday. Twice!

She rolled over from her tummy to her back. The look on her face was just as surprised as we were! The smile on her face after doing it was precious! Accomplished and proud. :)--if babies can have those feelings?

My mom saw it first and I think that is so special for her. She hasn't been around for many firsts. No one has. But on the other hand she hasn't had too many firsts. There are many many more to come and lots of opportunities to share them with the ones we love.

Right now Harper is watching Baby Einstein lullabies. She is talking away and smiling at the TV. When the guitar starts to play and they show a picture of it she smiles.

I don't think that's a coincidence. Not even a little bit.